woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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