You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
