carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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