I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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