Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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