They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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