On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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