Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
