YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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