I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
