nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
