Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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