dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
