Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
