I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
