there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize