Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
