Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
