We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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