you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize