im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just had sex bonerless
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
