I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
They have beer where we have blood.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
