Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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