I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my sisters under your porch take her home
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
this is an emotional support booty call
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
