haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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