are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
