fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
