Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think my fart just growled at me.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
