oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
