sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
