so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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