problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
