Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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