I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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