Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
