I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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