I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he was CRYING into my vagina
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
