talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just pee around me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
