butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
