so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
