Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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