Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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