..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
