I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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