you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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