just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
