Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
