we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
