i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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