That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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