whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
