saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
