I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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