after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
