Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
