I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
