His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
