Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
