Its about making memories worth repressing
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
