yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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