Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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